So let's chat about peace. Oftentimes when you think or speak of peace we say, I'm trying to find peace.
And in actuality, it's all about creating peace. How can we create peace?
And that's what led me to dive even deeper into this concept of peace.
What does that look like?
How do we create it?
So I came up with these different avenues and areas that I thought about when I'm trying to create my peace, tis the season of creating peace. Because with the holidays coming up it can seem as if there is no room for peace. Even without the holidays, life in and of itself can seem crazy and with no peace.
So what does peace look like right now?
However, before we can dive into that we need to understand what peace is. We can pull up Webster's dictionary and see what peace means. But what does peace mean for you? For me, peace means being at ease, and calm, this feeling of bliss, and wholeness. These are just a couple of words that come to my mind when I'm thinking of peace.
So, how do we create it?
How do we create this bliss, wholeness, at-ease feeling?
Oftentimes that is the challenge is understanding how to create these feelings. So I came up with 5 key things about how I create Peace in my life.
The first is boundaries. That's a big word, right? Boundaries look like setting not only boundaries for ourselves but also setting boundaries for others. Prime example, one of the things that I told my girls is at 9 pm I'm done. So don't come to me at 9:30, don't come to me at 10 o'clock and say, "Can you check my homework?" Don't come and say, Can you do this? Can you do that?
Anytime before 9 p.m. I'm your mom?
I am there. Obviously in an emergency no matter the time, I'll be there. However, me setting that boundary gives me peace because it allows me to turn off because if I don't set that boundary then I'm always expected to be on I'm always expected to have this 24-hour shift and which does not bring me peace. So boundaries are huge. So ask yourself how can I set boundaries. What are some boundaries that I can set for myself? What are some boundaries that I can set for my family or friends or what are some boundaries even for my work? What are some boundaries for my boss or my employees or other people? What are some boundaries that I make sure that I adhere to and honoring it in letting them know,
2. Stop filling your FREE TIME with stuff.
The second way of finding peace is to stop feeling your time. I gotta step on that one. It's true. How many times have you had free time? Right? And you're like, Okay, so I'm gonna do this one thing real quick thing because I've got some time to do it. Stop doing that. Your free time is your time to be free. It's your time to relax. And I know this is hard in a society where we have this go, go, go mentality, and it's hard to simply relax. But it's time that we stop feeling the time that we have with other stuff to do. And so that looks like when you have free time. Just simply Relax.
3. Social Media
Turn it off. Stop feeling this sense of always having to be on social media scrolling all of the time. Have you ever taken the time to look at your screen time on your phone? It is quite disturbing to see how many hours we spend on social media and don't even know it. There was one time when I check to see how long or how many hours I spent on social media and it said 8 hours. That's a lot of time, right? That's a lot of time that you could be resting, the time you can be taking naps or simply relaxing. I've seen other people say they have spent 12 hours on social media scrolling throughout the day, that is insane. So finding peace or creating peace looks like designating times you will be on social media and times when you'll be off.
For example, at nighttime, "I'm going to have my scroll time on social media for 30 minutes, etc." The same thing could be in the morning, "Before I start my day I can do a little social media time, etc."
Stop feeling like you need to scroll throughout the day. Our brain is constantly in reaction mode and yet we wonder why our brain will not shut off at night so we can go to sleep. Start setting timers so that you can begin to create peace throughout your day.
4. Go to Bed (Sleep)
Sleep is so important, right? What time do you go to bed at night? For me, honestly, it just depends on when I get my brain to calm down. Sleep is vital. But yet here's the thing oftentimes what happens is we're not getting enough sleep at night, and then we're waking up in the morning and our brains are tired because it hasn't gotten the full recovery. And guess what? Then we're overloading it with caffeine to stay awake to do all the things. We're stuck in the fight stage of (Fight or flight) reactivity. So making sleep a priority is key.
How can we make sure we go to bed?
We can make sure we go to bed by doing all the things we have already discussed in 1 through 3.
Make sure that we set boundaries
Make sure we're not filling time and that we're relaxing the brain
Make sure we're cutting off social media.
So when we're making sure we're doing those things, then we're able to get into bed at a decent time and able to go to sleep. I challenge you to try to go to sleep every single night at the same time and wake up at the same time. And it's okay if it's not spot-on every single time. There are going to be days, weekends, etc. where that doesn't happen. It's gonna be easier on some days than others however, creating a routine will help your mind and body know when to rest.
How can we make sure we're doing this?
Research has shown that when we turn off the TV. turn off the phones, we stop scrolling at least an hour before we go to sleep we're able to calm the nervous system down we're able to go to sleep. Remember, not only is sleep helping to rest our physical bodies, but it's also resting our minds. It is great for our mental health.
5. Learn how to say NO.
Did you know that No is a complete sentence? Stop overloading yourself with things. I'll be the first to say that I was the worsts with this. I always wanted to be a YES for everyone. I felt this need of showing up for everyone. I quickly realized that showing up for others more meant that I was showing up less for myself.
Stop doing things out of obligation
If you don't have the time or space or it is just affecting your peace? Learn how to say No. They'll be okay. They will get over it. It's okay to say no. We find inner peace when we stop crowding our schedules with all of the things.
Don't overcrowd yourself.
Don't overstimulate yourself if it's going to be triggering for you and it's going to affect your peace.
So, that's it y'all my five biggest things in creating peace. Know that peace is not something that you find it's something you create. Sometimes we're sitting here searching for peace, but the peace resides within each of us. We have to be willing to create it. So as we go into the holidays, as we go to the end of the year, all the things, all the parties, all the family, all of the things, create your peace. Remember to follow these key things:
Stop filling spaces
Make sure that you learn how to say no
Stop scrolling through social media like crazy
Get some sleep.
You deserve peace, you deserve to feel at ease, to feel relaxed, to feel not triggered, not in reactivity, not in a fight or flight state all the time. I hope that you not only learn this but embody this. Why? Because you deserve nothing but the best.
Hear more of this convo on the Soulful Healing Podcast