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Sit in the Mess

I know yesterday was all about love, valentines day. For some it was spending with your sweetheart and for others it may have look like spending time loving on SELF.

While yesterday may have been a great day for some. Other's may have felt lost, sad, angry, and a sense of emptiness. Society would say hey suck it up, you're good, be strong, don't let anyone see you cry. Don't show your emotions, pretend as if all is well.

Yep, I use to be that person; a strong black woman masking my feelings, pretending as if all was well. Until I realized that I was stunting my healing. I was blocking myself from truly healing. I realized that sometimes you have to allow yourself to simply sit in the mess, to feel what's going on, to be okay with whatever emotions you may have.

So often we try to make what is really going on in our lives seemed all okay.

So often we try to pretend as if everything is okay.

I need to raise both hands and feet on those 2 statements.

We walk around with this sense that life is all good when in Reality we are a complete hot mess. Your family is a hot mess, that job you go to is a hot mess, the life you are portraying is simply not real, it's a fantasy. You're trying to pretend as if life is great, you have it all together, that all is well and guess what; it's not.

So I'm here to tell you write now, sit in the mess, be mad, be upset, be sad, be emotional, allow yourself to feel. We can't move past the pain until we first allow ourselves to feel. We can't find joy until we first release the pain, we can't release the pain until we first accept that there is pain, until we allow ourselves to simply feel the pain.

I used to pride on saying I'm a strong black woman. What that statement got me was an exhausted, tired, stressed out black woman. I was tired of performing, I was tired of masking who I truly was. I was tired of pretending as if my life was roses. I was tired of pretending that my family wasn't a hot mess, I was tired of pretending as if life was all grand in reality my life was complete mess it was tearing me up from the inside out and Upside down.

But that's where the freedom came, the freedom came from me accepting that's it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to feel, it's okay to allow myself to be in my feelings, it's okay for me to allow myself time to truly sit in the mess. Because it was through me truly sitting with myself that liberation came, it was through me sitting in mess where I was able to truly release, to truly let go.

So sit in the mess, allow yourself to feel, allow yourself to release, allow yourself to be liberated through simply sitting in the mess.

Need moral support....I got you. Let's do this together

With love,


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